Blink and You'll Miss It

There are toys everywhere. Dolls, building blocks, crayons, and children's books line the edges of the floor in the unbearably pink room I find myself in. The afternoon sun comes through in a red hue painted by pink curtains creating a persistent glow around everything I can see. I'm sitting in a tiny chair at a small table surrounded by an assortment of stuffed animals and...a little girl. Looking at me with bright wide eyes and the smile of pure untainted excitement, she barely whispers, "You're here!"

Am I? Where? 

"Uh. Hello there.", I manage to get out. "I'm terribly sorry, but I'm not sure how I got here, or even where here is."

"Here is my room, and you got here because I imagined you good enough!", she explains with the confidence only a young woman of 6 or 7 could muster. "See? Look.", she exclaims through gapped teeth, as I suddenly feel a white hot flash course through my body before nearly instantly.....nothing. 

I find myself sitting at the chair again, as if nothing had happened. "See?" The little girl giggles. 

"What did you just do?", I try to calmly ask.  

"Unimagined you!", she explains.

So, I have some things to think about. I don't know this little girl. I've never met her in my life, but for some reason I'm sitting in her room with my very existence at the mercy of her...imagination? What happened to my family? Where are this little girl's parents? Why am I... 

"Mr. Suzzles, you're being rude. You hafta pass the teapot to Beary and take a snack.", the little girl says with a serious tone. I must be Mr. Suzzles, so I play along as best as I can, and ask, "I'm sorry, I haven't asked you your name yet." 

"Sofia.", the little girl smiles. She then proceeds to introduce me to the other guests at the table: an older looking teddy bear named Beary, a bow-tied elephant named Muffleump, a shark named Chomp that looks as confused as I am to be there, and a well-traveled plastic doll named Pretty. 

Midway through the ceremony Sofia's mom quietly steps into the room to watch. I nervously start trying to think of an explanation as to why a 36 year old half bald man was sitting in her daughter's room, but as the mother scans the table, she looks right through me. Noticing my sudden discomfort, though, Sofia looks back to see her mom standing there, and jumps up to hug her. 

"Look Mommy! I made a new friend! Say hi to Mr. Suzzles!, Sofia says while gesturing to me. 

"It's actually Phillip, I think...", I mumble under my breath as I awkwardly wave.

"How nice to meet you Mr. Suzzles!", Sofia's mom says, looking right past me as if...well. As if I wasn't there.  It's starting to sink in that this isn't some complicated misunderstanding. Sofia's mom can't see me. Sofia can just will me into existence as she pleases. 

"Well, Sofia, be sure to finish things up with your guests soon. It's almost time to take a bath and get ready for bed, Ok?"

"Ok Mommy.", Sofia relents. 

I wait while Sofia gets ready for bed, trying to gather my thoughts. What had happened to me? Where was my daughter? My wife? And....why couldn't I remember their names? As Sofia drifts off to sleep I commit myself to remembering their....

....names. Shit. I look around. The sun is back out somehow, and I'm sitting back at the tea party table. 

"Welcome back Mr. Suzzles! I musta imagined other things in my sleep cause you weren't there in the morning. Then I hadta go to school so I did it now. Let's play!"

This cycle continues for days, weeks, possibly even months. I play with Sofia most afternoons and weekends and listen to her talk about the world around her she's trying to understand. I learn about how her father is gone for work a lot, about the people she doesn't like anymore at school, and the peculiar sleeping habits of Chomp. I spend my rare moments alone trying to decipher the mystery of my situation. I remember this much, eventually: My daughter's name is Isabelle, and my wife's name is Joan. I have no idea how I ended up in this situation, though, and I'm terrified they're trying to find me while I'm stuck here. Until Sofia comes home with unlikely news. 

"There's a new girl at school that makes me very sad, Mr. Suzzles."

"What does she do to you to make you sad?", I ask. 

"She doesn't do anything to me. She just told me why she came here and it's cause her daddy passed away a few months ago and her mommy had to bring her back here so they could live with her grandparents." 

"That is very sad, Sofia. Do you think you will be friends with this girl?"

"Mhm! Isabelle and I played together almost all day."

I'm not sure at this point if I still have a heart, but something in my chest stopped when she said her name. 

"Sofia. Have you ever thought about imagining me while you're at school? So I can be there too?" 

"Why would you want to go to school?", she asks. 

"Just to see what it's like for you, I suppose."

"Sure! That could be fun! I'll do that tomorrow!"

As Sofia falls asleep I remind her to take me with her to school before I blink out, only to find myself in her classroom an instant later. I look around a little disoriented at first, then freeze. Next to Sofia is a face that was locked in some memory I didn't know I had; my daughter was sitting beside her. Somehow, by chance or a merciful creator, there is Isabelle, and I can only manage to cry. 

"Why did I see you crying today, Mr. Suzzles?", Sofia asks when we're at home. 

How do I explain this to her? She's a 1st grader. Children are willing to believe a lot of different things, but this seems...different. I'm not sure if I'm in a position to lay this kind of information out for a small child to contend with.  

"I'll explain in time, Sofia. Right now you should really focus on your homework." 

This was real. I had been stuck here for months, and now I had seen my daughter in a new school, a little older, making friends with the little girl who brought me here. Little girls grow up, though. They stop playing with their imaginary friends as they begin to make more real ones. They forget we even exist, and if that happens, one night I'm going to blink out of existence and never see my daughter again. So what do I do? 

A few days later, during a particularly wild painting session, I decide to talk to Sofia. 

"Do you remember when you saw me cry at school, Sofia?"

"Of course! Wanna say why you did?", she asks while slinging more paint on the floor than paper in front of her. 

"Yes, actually. Sofia, the thing is..."

"Is it cause you're Isabelle's daddy?", not looking away from her craft. 

"Well....yes. How did you know about that, though?" 

"She showed me a picture. I didn't say nothing though. I didn't want her to think I was weird for having an imaginary friend."

That was a small relief. "Sofia. Remember how she told you about her Daddy passing away? That means that the only time I get to see Isabelle now is when you let me. Do you think you could help make sure I get to see my daughter sometimes?" 

Sofia, putting down her brush and facing me says, "Mr. Suzzles. I will be happy to do that. And since you're not imaginary, I promise I won't forget you." Then, with no ceremony, she began painting again as if she hadn't just said the most important words I would ever hear. 

And so she doesn't. I see Isabelle almost every day through Sofia. Sometimes Joan lets Isabelle come stay the night, and I get to watch her laugh, play, and grow. As time goes on, I find myself missing more and more days at a time, Sofia becoming more and more distracted by other things in her preteen and teenage years. She remains best friends with Isabelle, though, and still offers me a glimpse into the life of the young woman my daughter is becoming as much as she can. One day I find myself in Sofia's room alone with a teenage Sofia, who's wearing a serious face. 

"Hi Phillip.", she offers. "I have something I want to talk with you about. I'm going to come right out and say it, if that's ok. I uh....I love Belle."

"Of course you do, Sofia, I do..."

"No. Phillip. I mean. I have feelings for her. I'm in love with her. And I think she feels the same."

I sit a little stunned for a moment. "I...what....how long has it been since you brought me back last? How much time have I missed?"

"We're about to graduate. Which, don't worry. I'm bringing you. But we have to make our decisions about college really really soon, and well, we want to go together." 

"Are you asking for my opinion, Sofia? Or for my blessing?"

"Both? Neither? I don't know. I just wanted to talk to you about it."

"Well. Here's the thing. I'm happy, for both of you. Of course I support this. I'll admit, though, it's scary. What if the two of you fight, break up, and well. I never come back?" 

"I understand. That could happen with us just as friends, though, too. Phillip, you've been like a second father to me for nearly all my life. I promise you I will do everything in my power to make sure you see your daughter grow up." 

So they fell in love. And I watch my child walk across her first graduation stage from behind Sofia. I watch her give outstanding presentations on things I couldn't begin to understand in college. I watch her walk for a diploma yet again. And again. I watch her tell Sofia about getting her first true career type job. I watch them adopt a puppy together. Sofia is the most consistent, generous soul on earth as far as I'm concerned. I miss great swathes of time, sure. There is not a moment of great importance in Isabelle's life that I miss, though, and I cannot think of a way to repay Sofia for that in the small amounts of time that I exist. 

I watch them stand in front of Joan, so much of mine and Isabelle's family, and Sofia's family, and tell the world that they choose each other. I watch them drive away with cans and streamers attached to their car. I watch them unlock the door to their first home. I watch them bring home a little baby boy after a lengthy adoption process, and I watch them name him Phillip. And so I get to see Phillip's school plays, and Isabelle crying at every single one of them. I get to watch Phillip play basketball, graduate, and the whole cycle once more. I watch them cry at Joan's funeral, where I struggle to stay composed as well. I wonder if she'll somehow join me in this space controlled by Sofia, but she never comes.

I get to watch them all age while I stand still in time. I get to see Isabelle comfort Sofia through a cancer scare. I get to see the two of them turn into tapestries of wrinkles and smile lines, and I one day get to sit across a bleak hospital room from Sofia when she decides she won't last much longer. 

"I think this may be the last time I can bring you here, Phillip.", she whispers. 

"Everything you have given me, Sofia, has been stolen from a fate that wasn't mine. You gave me the impossible. You gave me my daughter." 

"Phillip, you gave her to me, too. I could not have had the life I've lived without you. The least I could do was share it."

"It was so much more than I could have asked, and I'll never be able to repay you."

"You already have, Phillip. Do you know why I agreed to do this for you all this time?" 

"Because you're a good person, Sofia." 

"No. Well, yes. But no. You should remember this well, given your...casual relationship with time, but you know that my dad wasn't around as a child. I imagined you because I wanted someone to play tea party with. Or, at least, I wanted someone who would listen to me while I pretended to play tea party. Phillip, you always listened to me. When Chomp and Pretty were arguing, you heard the little girl struggling with herself behind them. I needed you, and I think somehow you chose to come to me rather than leaving for good. You were the kind of man who made a great father. The very least you deserved was that experience." Sofia, smiling brightly, closes her eyes, and the last sounds I hear are the sobs of Isabelle over a flatline before nothingness comes again.